Decluttering Rut? Should it stay or should it go?
Decluttering used to be a foreign concept, but now it’s so mainstream that it would be hard to find a person who doesn’t have some familiarity with the process.
Good News, Bad News:
Good News: There's a lot more decluttering happening!
Bad News: It's no longer new and exciting, and people are realizing that it can be a difficult process.
If the typical questions like "Do I need it?", "Do I use it?", and "Do I love it?" aren’t helping you move forward in your decluttering journey, we have three alternative questions that might make a difference. These questions require a bit more thought and emotional consideration, but in our experience, sometimes that’s exactly what you need to make a breakthrough!
3 questions to ask yourself:
Does This Item Reflect Who I Am Today?
Think about whether the item aligns with your current lifestyle, values, and interests. If it represents a past version of yourself that you’ve moved on from, it might be time to let it go.
This question applies particularly to those hard-to-get-rid-of sentimental items. Think grandma’s dishes (that are not your style) or photographs from another time of people you do not know. Oftentimes, we keep these items out of guilt, in turn causing us unnecessary emotional stress.
Photo Cred: At Home with Style
You may not directly see it, but think about entering the room where those items are – what feelings or emotions are stirred up? Do you feel stress? Aggravated? Emotional? Guilty?
It may be time to ask yourself – what are these items costing me emotionally? Sometimes we need to remind yourselves that we are not obligated to keep these things you know you will never use regardless of who they came from. Maybe another family member might enjoy them. Or maybe there is a collector out there who is looking for exactly what you have!
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves, the physical items do not determine our relationships. We often think our grandmother may be broken hearted we gave away her good dishes but consider her feelings if she knew you were feeling resentful about storing her dishes you never used.
2. Is This Item Worth the Space It Takes Up?
Consider the physical space the item occupies and whether it justifies its presence in your home. If the item is taking up valuable space that could be better utilized, it may be worth parting with it.
How many times do we look at our closet or our children’s closets and look at all of the clothes and just put everything back in its original place because you just can’t decide what to do? Ask yourself, “what is this piece of clothing costing me in terms of space?”
Think of it like this. If you do not get rid of one (or more), how will the space function going forward? Will you have piles of t-shirts on the floor because you cannot decide? What about when you go to reach for one t-shirt, will that pile tip over, causing you aggravation each time you get dressed?
Photo Cred: Shutterstock
Being able to let go of items you recognize are causing you stress, will help you make good decluttering decisions. Ask yourself, “is keeping that t-shirt I rarely wear going to impact my mental wellbeing?” What is keeping it really costing you?
Remember that feeling you felt when you entered a clean, calm, and light space? Removing those unused items brings you one step closer to feeling calmer and breathing lighter.
3. Could This Item Benefit Someone Else More?
Reflect on whether the item could be more useful or bring more joy to someone else. If the answer is yes, donating or giving it away can be a fulfilling way to declutter while helping others.
I know it may be a difficult choice. Lets go back to the example of grandma’s dishes. As a prime example, I have a few sets of my great-grandmother’s dishes. Two sets we use on special occasions each year. Each time we use them, I have a feeling of nostalgia, special memories with them and it makes me smile. We have a third set that we do not use and has been in storage in our basement for years. Not ideal, but honest. Few choices I myself need to make:
Keep them and start to use them.
Maybe keep 1 plate or dish and use this as a centerpiece as a reminder, but get rid of the rest to someone who will use them.
Take a photo of the dishes and when I feel nostalgia, look at it, but give the dishes to someone who will use them.
Acknowledge that if you are truly unable to part ways (for whatever personal reasons, guilt, etc), properly pack and store them to revisit at a later date.
Photo Cred: DESIGNTHUSIASM
Family items that have been passed down or items of nostalgia are never easy to address. But we must be honest with ourselves, the space we have, our style and the true use of the items. Remember, the item does not replace the person….the item does not bring the person back…letting it go will not tarnish our memories of that person.
Decluttering is a process and honestly. May take a toll on you both emotionally and physically. But if you want to move forward in a way that makes sense for you, ask yourself the tough questions.
We are only touching a tip of the iceberg. I often like to refer to decluttering as a marathon, not a sprint. It’s about tackling each obstacle as they come (just as each mile comes at you at a marathon) and doing your best at that point in time. Not every space needs to be Pinterest perfect! It needs to work for you and your family.